Whew! Today has been a rough one...
I know that every day in a mother's life isn't going to be like looking into a perfect snow globe; However, days like these always leave a bitter taste in my mouth. :(
Brynn is cutting her canines, and was particularly temperamental today.
Let me just break it down for you. The highlights of the day were:
A. When she launched our large, glass ball ornament across the coffee table after I asked her to put it down {because it was only the umpteenth time I've asked her to stop climbing up on the chair to reach it...} So she sat in Time Out... For the umpteenth time.
and B. When in a desperate attempt to burn off some of that negative energy, I took her for a "big girl walk" to the post office... And she decided that she did not want to hold Mommy's hand as we crossed the intersection, and proceeded to throw a HUGE tantrum... While I dragged her all the way to the curb. I then proceeded to attempt to explain to her that holding Mommy's hand was "a rule" so that she didn't get hurt... And she proceeded to lay down on the sidewalk and yell "NOOOOOOO!" at me.
Oh, fabulous.
It's days like this when all I can do is pray for a little more patience with my independent girl.
And it's days like this when I finally get the chance to read my blog roll... And I see a very familiar, desperately-needed sight to change my frustration and perspective.
That photo immediately brought tears to my eyes.
And after reading her post, I was a sobbing mess.
It is yet another moment since I became a mother... and left my job in the PICU... that I was brought to my knees at the thought of how blessed I truly am.
The photo you just saw when you clicked on that link is something that used to be very familiar to me. I have been there to witness many moments just like that one. It is the most traumatic, gut-wrenching, life-altering, horrible, terrible, and horrific moment that I can possibly imagine.
The photo itself is so powerful, but I'm almost positive that it can't do the pain of that moment any justice.
Instantly, I am given an entirely new perspective on our day. Because I know... I know that these parents would do absolutely anything in their power to have a day like I just had with their little girl.
I know I shouldn't feel so guilty for being frustrated, but I do...
The same way that I feel guilty because I have to take a deep breath every. single. time. I leave her with someone else, when Allen and I have our date nights.
It's engrained in me now. Because I know the risks.
I know that when I kiss her goodbye, there is a chance that it could be the last time.
It's not my plan. It's HIS plan.
I have absolutely no control over it.
I have absolutely no control over it.
I've seen it too many times to take it for granted... But I'm only human, and I still find myself taking my blessings for granted.
Life can change in an instant.
So, today, I'm taking the time to hold Brynn even tighter than I usually do... And I'm snuggling with her to remember Preslee Jo's mommy and daddy, and all of the other mommies and daddies who will never get the chance to snuggle their babies like this.
I pray today, and every day, that they find some comfort for their loss.
6 comments:
ohmyword! we are in the same boat today! my girls felt like the spawn of something terrible. all day long it was screaming and crying- and that was just me ;) it just felt like a long day and the minutes ticked by ever so slowly. and then even now as I typed that last sentence my oldest {who was in bed} got up and knocked over my wine glass which promptly shattered and spilled the last of my wine. some perspective? is seriously needed right now. thank you.
I'm a sobbing mess too after reading this post and seeing their blog. I was feeling your pain with the crazy toddler days at the beginning of the post, but boy how that story brings you back to earth! Thanks for posting this. Some days we need a little wake up call and to remember to hug those babies a little tighter!
Oh that was hard to read. Toddlers are so frustrating and so wonderful all at the same time. It is really hard to remember just how blessed we really are sometime. My sister told me yesterday that my nephew threw himself on the floor and cried no, no, no for 30 minutes and she had NO IDEA why! Last summer Andrew threw himself down in the parking lot at Best Buy. It was 100 degrees and I was 8 months pregnant and he refused to budge. But we still love them more than anything in the whole world.
I can totally relate! My son just turned 2 and is quite a handful. I have been praying for patience as well. But if there is anything that having two older kids (9 and 11) has taught me it's that it passes and goes soooo quickly.
Man they sure do know how to give us some long days...it's crazy how much they can test us. Here's to better day momma!
Such a moving post...just gave my boys extra good night kisses.
Visiting from Welcome Wednesday blog hop I'm a new follower via GFC - follow me back if you wish. I hope you will stop by and join me for a good deed or just to visit!
:)
Katherine
http://simplysweetsunday.blogspot.com/
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